Saturday, January 30, 2010

the story of kite scar!

kite scar used to be a normal kite. He was not made of fantistic material, nor was he beautifully designed. just a plain, happy kite. Yet when pilot youer saw him, she bought him immediately.

kite scar's pilots(des. Chua and youer.wong) had such high hopes for him... they used to call him kite fly high, or kite victory! kite scar was proud of himself. he felt that being in the hands of these two pilots, he could really soar high in the sky, like he always dream of.

excitedly, his pilots brought him out to a large green field and assembled him. They tied strings to him, and two beautifly ribbon tail. By now, kite scar was quite cocky and took many things for granted. he felt that he is great. He thought that he would always acquire love and success like he had since the day his pilots chose him.

However, kite scar failed. after several attempts to fly, his take off had always been met with obstacles. his flight always lasted short. Kite scar could not fly.

yet his pilots were not ready to give up. they knew that there must be some mistake that they had made, resulting kite scar's failure to fly. Hence, the two pilots constantly modified kite scar hoping to find the perfect fomular to make kite scar the highest soaring kite in the world!

finally, the pilots found the perfect technique to fly him! however by this time, kite scare was tired. He was tired, self pitying and disappointed in himself. He did not want to try again. He felt that all was over, and he had lost this battle with the wind...

so when his pilots threw him up into the sky and as the wind picked up, kite scar carelessly let himself. Kite scar almost died.Since then he bear a huge ugly scar. he had suffered a huge tear and he could never fly again in this shape.. his pilot were sad. silently, they kept kite scar away, but fiercely in pilot youer's heart, she promised kite scar will fly again one day.

As days passed and chaos reigned, pilot youer forgot kite scar. sadly, kite scar sat in one corner of her room. the corner where pilot youer feared to look in. for she alwayys felt sad and guilty and regret that she had not let kite scar fly. gradually, pilot youer start to forget kite scar, however, everytime she felt loonely, kite scar, and the happy times she had with pilot des clouded back into her mind. She missed them.

finally one day, pilot youer drew kite scar out from his corner and told him, 'hey kite scra, you're gona be free again... u are going to fly.'

With that, pilot youer mended kite scar. She belived that although kite scar is wounded and scarred, but if pilot des is willing to fly this kite again, kite scar will soar.

pilot des. Would u fly kite scar again?

narrator= pilot youer
kite scar= youer and des relationship

Labels: the story of kite scar

missing you at 4:07 PM

i am still counting down for each day.
yet to what?

here is the last part of two is better than one

Oooh I can't live without you
'Cause baby two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one


i think, this song is a close fit to what i feel. from the way it describe how it started, how it felt when it ended, how i feel that 2 is indeed better than one...

there is so much time to figure out what i want.
and i figured out that 2 is better than one...

have you figured that out too?

Labels: two is better than one

missing you at 10:33 AM

that day,i tried everything to keep u...
that day, u chose to leave

that day,i cried,
that day, u had no feelings...

that day, i frantically deleted everything about u...
that day, i undeleted things about u

that day, i realised, i lost a part of me... when i lost u...

i realised the worse pain is i can never have a reason,
to call u,
to sms u
to hear your voice.

the worst thing is even after so many times of heartbreak,
yet, i still wish to give u my heart,
to love you.

I chose to pretend nothing happened...
will this bring you back?
will u still love me...
after a while, will u love me?
or will i eventually be reduced to friend to u
yet u still stay here in my heart...

im sorry...
i try to be strong...
yet im so weak.
i need to lie to myself.
because i cannt stand the thought of this ending...

there are so many more words i have not said to u...
so many things not done...
so many promises not kept...

when u told me, do not think of the past...
how can i do that?
im sad distraught....
yes. im pretending...
im a coward!

i know u don want this anymore.
i really... cant stand it...

missing you at 10:20 PM

after so many repeated heartache, i belive this is the last one.
he had chosen to leave me.
as i cried,
as i scramble to delete everything of him from my life,
and cried...
i realised how small a part of me was living.
i deleted this blog... yet i came here again, to undelete it...
some things in life that cannot be erased no matter how hard i try...
some memories that are worth keeping, such as those now,
will prevent me any heart ache in the future.
i believe this would be the last.
i believe no matter how hard i try to forget,
i will still wait.
i think i know me,
i think i know him too.
that he will never turn around and look.
but still, i know i will wait.for some one so bad
for someone who broke me so many times.

and the biggest biggest pain,
is that i will never have a reason to talk to him again,
to call and just listen to the sound over the phone,
it will never justify to just look at his picture,or cry for him
i am never allowed to call him, when i feel sad.
because i would only feel sad for him.
i can never sms him. or tell him i miss him
i can never never do these again
because, today. he decided to leave me.

because today, 24/1/10.
one day short of my happy 25 months
today. we died

missing you at 6:20 PM

So silly of me, to love someone who does not love me.
And I know that he would still be happy as I sit here crying, he would be out there, talking, eating, happily.
I am very angry very disappointed. But he would not even think of saying sorry. And he would not even feel that he is wrong.
I am giving up I am leaving! And he would not even ask me to say. All he would say is okay!
Yes I heard your promises! Those that were meant to be broken! Those that were meant to hurt, to cut and to make me look forward and eventually lose.
And the worst, is u make me love you.
That I eventually struggle to leave. But bonded by love…

missing you at 1:37 PM

came back from des's place rather upset today.
sigh... well, at least the fish and chips didn turn out that bad...
i guess instead of wishing for him to care more,
maybe i should care less instead...
maybe im just in love with my imagination.
gona watch twiligt even though we are gona watch it tml
on condition that dorothy bought the tickets(which i honestly don think she had)
and also cos its much nicer o watch it alone i guess...
des cant appreciate pain and loneliness... he needs fun and trill
and i don think i feel like going tml anyway, cos its a birthday party.
yea im anti social... i noe...

two of my orchid died today.
they were uprotted by e rain.
so i decided to bring them home...
i'll grow them up till they are big enuff to fend for themselves.
i really love them!
thats all...

missing you at 7:05 PM

now that i've found a rather good job, i dont really feel happy
i guess its because i would have to work on weekends.
the problem with working on weekends is that i might not be able to meet desmond!
i cant live with that!
I really don know if i can sacrifice desmond for work.

its a 7 dollars an hour job.

sigh...

it feels weird walkin in town without des...
everything seems bigger, scarier.
people seems to be staring with judgmental eyes...
its not that im overly self conscious or low in self confidence.
its just that i feel lonely.
and i miss him....
i cant even explain how much i miss him...

suddenly, the world is turning even faster. no breaks, no holidays...
suddenly, im not just a student, im a worker, im in the labor force and im seeking employment.
suddenly the cost of travelling can burn a big hole in my pocket.
suddenly, suddenly, im faced with the possibility that i will be very long and very far apart from him...
till god knows when...
sigh...

i do want this job.
but i do want him too!
im greedy aint i?
i really miss him... sigh...

Labels: feeling about a good job

missing you at 8:18 PM